In this presentation, John will introduce some personal anecdotes, thinly shrouded in the framework of geographic information systems concepts and cartographic design. He'll present some highly visual content to divert attention away from his awkward presentation energy because if you're looking at the screen, you're not looking at him! This cartographic slight of hand will continue, as he walks through various map-making how-tos, as a means of encouraging gumption in our work and finding opportunities for joy. After all, whose got it better than us?